Replace total no contact with a professional contact rule.
You may still need to email, attend meetings or hand over work. Make the boundary specific: work channels only, practical topics, normal hours where possible and no relationship post-mortems at the desk.
Psychology Today describes working with an ex as a situation where clear boundaries matter because contact cannot simply disappear. You can be polite and cooperative without offering personal access.
Plan the first few unavoidable encounters.
Decide in advance how you will greet them, where you will sit, what you will say if they raise the relationship and who you can contact on a difficult day. A short script such as “I am keeping this about work today” can stop a meeting becoming an emotional negotiation.
You do not have to attend every optional social event or accept private lifts, lunch invitations or messages that blur the new boundary.
Keep colleagues out of the relationship story.
Workplace gossip can make recovery harder and can damage trust on the team. Choose one safe person outside the reporting line for the emotional processing, and keep work conversations focused on tasks.
If the breakup creates threats, unwanted contact, retaliation or a serious impact on your ability to work, use your employer's safeguarding, grievance or HR route. That is a workplace issue, not a test of whether you can cope privately.
Protect your attention after you see them.
Seeing your ex can trigger a fresh round of checking, comparison or hope. Give the reaction a container: take a short walk, write down the thought, message a friend about something else or return to one concrete task.
Do not use work as a reason to monitor their social life. You can know they are in the building without collecting updates about who they speak to or whether they look happy.
Ask for practical changes when the setup is unworkable.
If you share a manager, shift pattern, desk area or client, a reasonable adjustment may reduce unnecessary contact. Frame the request around work quality and safety rather than asking colleagues to take sides.
Policies differ between employers. Check your workplace guidance and use a qualified HR or legal adviser for a formal dispute.
Build connection beyond the workplace.
A shared workplace can keep your ex at the centre of your week. Add routines and people that have nothing to do with the office so recovery is not measured by how they behaved today.
Lifted Spirits is a free friendship and peer-support community for adults. It is not an employment, legal or mental-health service, but it can help you find ordinary conversation and connection outside the relationship and the workplace.