When you were younger, social gaming happened almost automatically. Friends were online, school gave you people to talk about games with, and joining voice did not feel like networking. Adult life removes that default group.
Stop waiting for a permanent squad before you play socially.
Start with one session. One game. One or two people. The pressure gets ridiculous when the goal becomes "find my new best gaming friends" before you have even joined a lobby.
Lifted Gaming is useful here because sessions give you a reason to turn up around a game rather than cold-messaging random people and trying to manufacture conversation.
Voice chat gets easier when the hardware disappears.
You do not need expensive gear. You need to hear people, be heard and not spend half the session fighting your setup. A straightforward headset such as the SteelSeries Arctis Nova 1 (affiliate link) on Amazon makes sense because it keeps game audio and voice in one device.
If voice makes you nervous, do not make it the first hurdle.
Play text-first if the session allows it. Listen for a while. Speak when you have something natural to say about the game. Voice becomes less intimidating once the usernames in the channel stop feeling like complete strangers.
Upgrade only the bit that is getting in the way.
If you already have headphones you like but everybody says your microphone sounds terrible, replacing the whole headset is wasteful. A simple USB mic such as the HyperX SoloCast (affiliate link) on Amazon fixes that specific problem.
If cables genuinely annoy you and stop you moving around comfortably, the Logitech G435 (affiliate link) on Amazon is the lighter wireless route. Again, that is only useful if wireless solves something you care about.
Become a regular somewhere.
The easiest way to make gaming social again is not endlessly meeting new people. It is seeing some of the same people repeatedly. Join the same kinds of sessions. Remember usernames. Ask if they are playing again next week.
That is how "random person from a lobby" slowly turns into somebody you message when you log on.